A cathartic practise

At the beginning of this year I did not set resolutions. Of course, I didn’t. Why would I want to do something that I know that I’m going to give up within the first 25 days? It almost seems moronic that this idea becoming a better version of yourself stems from the same passing of time as anyone else. Therefore, I have set a resolution for myself today. *

Somebody, who shall remain nameless, said something that really got to me. I for one can admit that I am quite sensitive. I can certainly dish it but can’t take it- I find this failure in character frustrating. Anyway, they said to me that I have this ability to emotionally manipulate them and I know exactly what buttons to press and that I’m passive aggressive. These things immediately were deeply hurtful to hear, like seriously who wants to hear their own flaws being spelled out to them?

It saddened me that they thought these things and I immediately became shut off and distant ad wanted to stop the conversation quickly; it ended within 5 minutes of those comments being made. I think what hurt the most was that I quickly came to the realisation that I had to accept that these comments were actually accurate and fair, however my sensitivity came into play, as did my tear ducts.

Therefore, I made a resolution to myself, not to essentially stop from doing all these but to accept that they are part of who I am, like my amazing ability to cry within 3 seconds. I need to embrace them as a part of myself. Of course, I will try and work on it but I feel like writing about it has helped, as it is a very cathartic practise.

My resolution= to digest what people are actually saying to me before responding.

*I understand not putting resolutions onto something tangible and on time contradicts my original argument that today is exactly the same as doing it on the 1st of January. I understand, but I don’t care.

Advertisements